I Like Collegians

I like collegians.
They are so unlike adults.
They smoke cheap cigarettes.
They snort cocaine in bathrooms at house parties.
They study weekdays.
They go to class unbathed in pajamas.
They support the causes in Africa.
The children and wars and all of the causes in Africa.
They jog around the quad in pairs.
Most of their families are wealthy.
The poor students get better grades.
They sneak whiskey into football games
And write about class and sportsmanship in the student paper.
They forget the names of people they slept with.
They use protection mostly.
They go to the beach in the Spring
And home for Christmas.
They pledge fraternities and sororities
But have never, by any means, been hazed.
They curse loudly at videogames in their dorm rooms.
They wear tweed blazers ironically.
They order pizza and refuse to tip the driver
They buy pot from him instead.
They ignore the solicitous emails from professors
The same emails the administration ignores.
They trade laughs with their roommates.
They do not report rapes.
They write papers in coffee shops.
They play Frisbee shirtless in the sun.
They post pictures from Thursday bar nights online
And tag their friends.
They graduate and eventually run the country.