Cheap Suits

It's always the cheap suits that make me the most remitted. I will find myself spending a weekend in meetings full of attractive associates, all adorned in fine-fitting forms of business-appropriate perfection. Meanwhile, I sit awkwardly wishing I'd spent more money on shoes and had better fitting pants, wishing they could see the cuffs of my shirt outside of the sleeves of my jacket. I get nervous, anxious, my stomach spinning into stabs of self doubt and I want out and away. I slip privately into a crisp fall afternoon where the sharp chill mandates another body to cuddle and keep warm. I daydream about overcast skies and low temperatures while blabbering bits of well-dress information are spilled over me. I dream of leaving to bowl alone or watch a movie, but look as if I am listening, sitting fully erect with a pretended pride in what I am wearing, in who I am. I have to. They have all the other advantages.