15 Minutes, 10/9

(a twenty something male sits in a room reading a book taking notes. another twenty something enters excitedly. they are friends.)

I've got it!

I'm fine, thanks for asking. How are you today?

What?

Nothing. What are you so excited about?

Just that I've finally got it. I've figured it out.

And what is it that you've figured out.

I know what women want!

I doubt that with every fiber of my being, but I'll bite. What do women want.

Well, no. There's a whole story thing. But I know now!

Okay, okay. What it is?

(the excited one stars to pace.)

Okay, so I'm walking around campus today, right?

Yeah?

And I come up on this skinny, lanky hipster kid. But he's not your run of the mill hipster kid. He's wearing some early nineties bicycle hat and has on these damn-near elbow length bicycle gloves. I should also point out he was on, or, rather, straddling his vintage looking bike.

A bicycle hipster?

Yes!

Okay?

No, but he was talking to a hipster chick! She had on the skinny jeans, the flats, the whole deal, right? But I could tell by the way that they were talking that this bicycle-hipster guy was into this girl, like he wanted her and whatnot.

Right.

Right. But he's got this weird timid thing going on. It's like he's playing shy or aloof so she'll notice him more or something.

Like ignoring her?

Not exactly, but making her push the action. And then it hit me.

What women want?

Yes! And it's not that. This bicycle hipster guy is obviously into this girl. Like, they're friends or whatever now, but you can just tell the way a guy will talk to a girl what he's thinking about. But he wasn't doing anything with that.

Just sort of languidly chatting it up?

Right! Man, that is not how anything happens. The funny part was that she was obviously into him as well. I mean, you can just see these things. But nothing was happening. They should have been setting up a date, or holding hands, or...shit I don't know, making out or something. But nothing was happening.

I follow...

So you can't just sit back with ladies. I've been doing that my whole life. I've got the cute, playful act down. I've got the patent. But there has to be a follow up. With girls I'm always worried about coming on too strong and seeming like an ass.

Isn't there a middle ground?

Yes! There is! And it's so obvious. You can let a girl know you're into her, sort of drive the action, without being a forward crazy jerk. You can still be playful and cutesy...

Thank God

...without just letting all this potential sit there. There is nothing wrong letting a girl know you're into her want want to get to know her better; physically, mentally, or whatever. People like that. I like that. You have to show interest. Or it goes no where.

And women want this?

Well they want action. Everyone wants action, but if a guy acts he's got something of an advantage I think. And without action, I mean, no one is getting laid.

And that's no good.

(the excited one sits down. he is tired from being so animated.)

Not at all. I'm just glad I've realized this before it was too late, you know? I could have been married by know. I think normal girls, the really worthwhile people even, are going to be a little timid.

No, no. I agree. Forward girls, at least in my humble experience, tend to be a little insane. Lots of fun, but lots of crazy.

Now that I've got the plan, man, all I've got to do is put it in action.

Who's your first target.

Target's a harsh word, I don't intend to shoot anybody. But, since you asked, it's Jamie. I think I'll talk to her.

Nice choice. Godspeed. Now, if you'll excuse me I must get back to my Malcolm X paper.

Well I will leave you too it. I gots a lady to talk to

(the excited one stands up and walks out of the room. the one with the paper raises his fist and calls after.)

Fight the power!