The garden dirt, frost-stiff, sends
you in shivering. Bracing my jawbone,
dirt shadows your hands as they fall
toward your hips, your neck slouched.
“The tulips,” you sob shaking,“the tulips
sprouted, never grew, dangled.”
I nod slow-hinged as you back me
against the fireplace, empty, sliding
my shoulders across the mantlespace.
Now, tear-streaked: “Peas, they’re peas I planted,
too cold to dig out,” your finger tips raw
(dirt, blood, and my face tumbling in my nods),
“the flowers have turned and only autumn to blame.”
And I nod, and I nod, a metronome, I nod,
gathering all I can think to respond:
So strange you’ve not brought the winter-peas in.
“So strange you’ve not brought the winter-peas in.”

She smiled nails
bare and bulging
from the molding,

when I was
building, flailing
my arms into

question-dark
spaces seeking
my tools, I caught

my skin on her
rust-lip tips, ripped
myself from elbow to

wrist, and screamed
myself to tear
her from the wall. 

Fog-eyed, the words blend:

"perm" and "poem" confuse, fuse,

neither survive heat.

I bit your index finger,
drawing blood from my bottom
sharp-tooth, and drew circles
around my elbow with the bleeding.

Target-drawn, I left you
punctured, found ceramic tiles,
sharpened my arm-bone in the shards.

Bent and prepared I hold it,
now, embraces like weapons.

"they became bloodthirst, everything"
mouths stained and rumors
houses, naked and simple,
call for wall-fill and paint,
furniture sitting silly-spent,


the men out killing, cleaning
blood from bone, regret bills,
formal dishes, formal-meat.

Her white-dyed fur muff
armored her right arm, rabbit,
first, it was a cast.
I gained ground, took drinks,
counting pearls against corners.
I asked to pet it.

Academy, hair-prices,
service, styling, web-bundles
haunt paraffin clusters,
smooth, silk, feet-lushed
toner: shampooed like gel scalps

wedding, her mesh-veil
slashes across her forehead,
eyes polished: French masque

two women, salon, push
pinched pitches for Polite,
screeching manners, tone-tall
as hair-tall; these secrets,
these battles, fought behind,
painted, eyes like open hands
they take turns following,
chemicals cover it in blonde

cattail tips ash, fall

flaking into hush-ripples;

worn jeans, dusted cuffs

Your oak-paneled smile,
the cotton on your breath,
the milk-trails you left
dancing in the kitchen,

I weave them into gins,
drunk-sinking myself into puddles
I collected pieces of you near.

you say, "you don't know":
bite-nails or poison lilies,
but, "you understand"

wall-blocks, brick-corners,
concrete teeth gnashing gravel
meals night-wet with steam

crows' heads fever-cock
scourging for prey; your ankle
thin against my grip

embers, my kisses
scald your palms; your bandaged hands
ashing from my jaw

Open my chest, drink

the beer resting there, brewed from

the flow of my blood.

Open my chest, ash

your cigarettes on the tray

carved from my sternum.

Open my chest, wash

your face with my lungs, drown

choking on my air.

Under your fingers,

a throat.

My throat

rattling

songs against your hands.

My hands

trussed behind

my back under your bent knee.

Tangled in your teeth,

mouthfuls of hair.

Your hair, tight

against your scalp, tight

around your tongue, tight

around my tongue,

gagging me.

We forget grass stains.
Scabs turn smooth, neglecting scars.
Multiple washes
remove our worn grooves.
Chipped teeth loosen and regrow,
aging like clockwork.

Living room corners
harbor me during parties,
anchored by snack trays
away from the threat
of kitchen bustle and heat.
Conversations skip
past me, I listen,
nodding politely, and smile,
trapped in false concern.
She skitters around,
bouncing between small circles
and offering drinks.

While grey-green clouds loom,
raindrops wave-crater puddles,
soaking everything.

Smoking on the porch,
I will leave the door open,
listen to the news.
Sometimes, hungry, I
bolt toward the kitchen food-cache
and then to my bed.

I forget the door.

She chastises my smoking,
my eating, the dog.

The dog will sneak in,
terrorize the cat at night,
escape by morning.

She loves that damn cat.

I apologize again,
ignored at dinner.